from nw on, i annouced tt i will b stop bloggin frm tis blog.. never again.. wad i explain i had explain to my bro.. and i dun plan to explain to everyone.. if u guyz juz think tt onli u guyz hurt, then think as u like.. i dun care much le..
im tired of explainin even though i tried to.. u guyz onli ask me to think of their way, did u guyz ask them to think of my way?? i hav think of their way b4.. but y juz cany u guyz ask them to think of my ways sometimes?? cos they are big?? so the small ones hav to listen and follow their way?? if u think tt they r the onli one hurt.. then u r very wrong.. very very wrong.. suan le..
如果你觉得受伤的只有他们， 那你就错了。。我的眼泪流的不比他们少。。
after readin someone's blog, i felt heartbroken.. cos someone i thought would understand me most de, end up also dint try to put herself in my shoes to think.. did she?? i duno.. did u guyz juz noe, he cried wif me?? how many times?? did u noe?? he feel tt no one likes him.. and cried.. did u guyz noe?? and did u guyz ever cried wif me?? understand me?? i think onli my mum did... things will get better is juz my thought.. wo yi xiang qing yuan de xiang fa.. HILAROUS THOUGHt..
mayb u all might think tt she has no wrong, im the one hav the fault.. then go ahead ba.. i dun wanna explain anythin le.. and i dun wanna try to explain..
nw im heartbreak. and i will still live on by my way.. i dun wanna say sry to any sis.. cos i dun feel tt they hav no wrong.. i admit i might b chong dong, but wad they say juz hurt me too......... do u guyz think of tt??
<3 3:44 PM
Saturday, December 02, 2006
well, SF, i noe wad u mean in ur blog.. but i dun wan to quarrel wif ur R-jie or K-jie de lo.. in the very 1st place, wad u all wana noe?!
K-jie threaten me between "cannot go msia to find him" and "phone bill".. So end up i chose to Go and find him in a low-profile lo.. then she call me during this period, and she sense that i have lied.. In the phone she was like disappointin and BLAH BLAH BLAH! AFTER THAT?! WAD SHE DID?! ANNOUCIN THE WHOLE WORLD TT I WENT TO MSIA ALONE! AND WAD ELSE?! HURT MY MUM! WTH!
and she not onli annoucing lo, is as gd as tellin everybody wif her precious and powerful and pitiful tears lo! WTH?! during that period XHJ also called me and as me abt it.. i admit it frankly.. Y?! Y I WOUL;D ADMIT TO HER FRANKLY?! IT IS BCOS AT LEAST HW SHE ASK ME MAKES ME FEEL THAT SHE REALLY WORRIED ABT ME!! nt like ur K-jie, crying pitifully and saying somethin that is unreasonable, hurtful, angry, "ZHE BEI" de tone wad else?! if u were me, would u?!
and wad XHJ told me was like ur K-jie onli tell that matter to her.. ok! i believe her.. END UP!? NOE WAD?! When KH reaches SG, her best frien MEI LING usin her phone to call me, as if she dun wanna talk to me.. if dun wanna talk to me than dun call me la! wad for askin UR FRIEN TO TALK TO ME?! AND UR FRIEN IS LIKE USIN THE SAME TONE AS GD AS "ZHE BEI" lo! DAMN HER LO! MOREOVER TIS IS MY BIZ LO, MEI LING.. ITS NONE OF URS LO! U HAV NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE IT LO!
i juz wanna go for my love izzt wrong?! i juz wanna hav a simple love izzt wrong?! i juz wan everyone to live in harmony so i go quietly izzt wrong?! M I?! M I?! moreover, im 18 nw lo! ya! in ur eyes , i might b still a kid.. but pls lo! WHEN UR K-JIE AND R-JIE IS AT MY AGE, COMPARE TO WAD THEY DID AND WAD I DID, MINE IS JUZ LIKE PEANUTS LO!
And wad else?!
YA! MY PHONE BILL ONCE OVER $1K! ya! i hav the cheek to say that! AT LEAST I HAV THE CHEEK TO SAY THAT! WAD THEY DID AT MY AGE, THEY DUN HAV THE CHEEK TO TELL EVERYONE ABT IT! ESPECIALLY UR NICE AND PITITFUL K-JIE!
like wad i tell u. HE IS NT BEING CHASE OUT OF R-JIE HSE COS HE DINT EVEN STEP INTO HER HSE!
and SF, i juz wanna repeat myself.. IF u think tt wad they did to me is called as caring and protecting, then i rather dun wan tis kind of care and protect. cos wad they did to me, i feel hurt and heartbroken.. BUT THAT ONLI TOWARDS UR K-JIE.. as for ur R-jie, i duno wad to say, cos she does not do anythin like ur lovely K-jie.. I JUZ WANAN ANNOUCE THAT WAD UR LOVELY K-JIE DID, JUZ MAKE ME HATE HER TO CORE!
cos she not onli annouce tt i went to msia, she also annouce that he is stays at my hse wad ANNOUCE EVERYTHIN TO THE FAMILY, RELATIVES AND FRIENDS OF HER!
and wad she had say to everyone is juz like sharp of knives drawin beautiful scars onto my heart. and wad i did and face it was to keep quiet to everyone. she makes me hate her to core, she makes my life miserable and she wins the battle of makin everyone to stand at her side. IS TT ENUFF?
ya, tt's once the naive me thinks that no matter wad i do, my family will stay wif me esp my sis.. i regard my family in the 1st place.. A very stable bi feng gang.. And i juz wana see and stay wif him for a short period of time and feel him real rite by my side, is so diffcult.. cos i thinks abt their thoughts.. and cos i ask ur K-jie abt can i go find him and she use that to threaten me..
YA! im despo.. im desparate for more love.. family love.. friends love.. and relationship love.. i wan to feel these.. but within these different type of loves and wanna maintain it, and care about wad other thinks makes me tired.. sickenin.. as time goes by, i really cant take it.. im nt prefect.. i cant make everyone happy.. if i m goin to make everyone happy, i m goin to make myself miserable.. im nt noble.. i m nt.. im juz a simple gal who wanted to go for wad i love for nw.. usin my instinct to do wad i really wanna do.. im nt regret.. i juz feel hurt... mayb juz like wad ppl say, "no pain no gain".. if really it is........ i will continue to go for wad i wan.. i will still continue to live on.. i will still continue to accept things and matter that could not b fixed.. or mayb i shld say, im too tired and heartbroken to fix it.. tired of everythin that she did to me.. tired of everythin happen.. tired of seeing my sisters.. tired of have to make everyone happy yet i m the one suffer.. tired of silent gossips.. tired of outcastin.. tired of entertainin people.. tired of explainin.. tired of sayin the whole thing again and again... i m tired.. and i cant handle.. i really cant..
feel like breakin into dust, and fly wif the wind... with him.. with the memories i hav wif the family.. with the memories i had wif the friends.. i wan a break.. need a rest.. im tired of entertaining her rubbish..
those wanna stay by my side, juz stay.. if u dun wan to.. then juz leave.. before u wanna leave, do show me the signal.. at least tis would make me bother u anymore.. and i wun allow myself or u to see each other again.. i need to breath.. really... need to recover wif the scars recovering by time...
<3 1:22 AM
Thursday, November 30, 2006
let me tell u a short story of a group of 4 gals, F, D, C, H. they noe each other since secondary school.. they are very close during sec sch.. but after the 3 of them graduated, left 1 more in the sec sch.. H, who is still in tt sec sch, felt lonely in sch even though there are still friens in the sch..
whenever they hav outin, H really hope tt all of the other 3 can make it.. even a dinner.. a meal.. a walk.. a moment.. But often onli D and C able to turn up.. and slowly tis little grp of gals start to drifted apart... as in F was driftin apart.. but H still gt contact F, but duno y F and C dint greet each other in sch as F and C are in the same sch after graduatin.. H noe tt and she felt very weird and.... wordless sad.. cant say de sad..
and during 2006, D heldin up a party.. she invite all the friens.. C and H turned up.. but onli F dint turn up.. which D was quite sad abt it.. as for H, she juz wonder hw come F dint turn up, but nvr ask her y.. But she did ask F did she turn up for the Bday party anot, and gt to noe tt she dint go.. H start to noe tt distance between F and D and C is driftin away... but dun wanna admit tt happens.. H hopes tt the distance can be returned..
To Be Continue...............
P.S. sry KF.. i dint noe tt u go watch the movie wif ur sis... i dint noe u feel so sad and lonely....
<3 12:57 AM
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
haiz.. at sch nw.. duno y i start to realise that friends around me have many problems that bother them.. and mine is nt the worst norx... haiz.. i shld noe to be content of wad i hav.. seeing some of my friens goin through hard things i duno wad to say or do.. juz can stand a side and lookin and asked wad happen nia.. nth much i can do within the others relationship and some unhappy hav happen which im nt ard my frien's side.. sry.. haiz..
AND i found that some guyz juz took advantage of the gals norx.. wtf! u think gals are wad sia.. =.= can u guyz juz try to treasure the nice gals u hav?? if u tryin to b nasty to gals ard me, im gonna make u suffer if i can.. -.-
or i shld say PLS LO! TREASURE WAD U HAV NORX! IF NT U WILL B THE ONE REGRETING OF NT TREATIN THE GALS WITH RESPECT AND A TREASURING FEELING LO!
haiz.. nt all guyz la.. but some of the guyz out there, can u juz dun b so desperate and think tt u can do anythin to the gal!? some REALLY NICE Gals need to be respect and treasure lo.. we r nt ur "venting" machine norx.. *hope u all noe wad venting machine i mean.. nt vending but venting*
gals around me make me found that, when gals really into a relationship, they will do their best to treasure it and maintain it.. as for guyz, makes me feel that some of them juz took the love for granted lo.. i duno wad to say na.. some really nice guyz no gf.. some really nice gals nt being treasured.. haiz.. hope everyone noes how to treasure each other..
i would say tis sentence.. but then wad i wanna treasure, i would scare that end up im the one hurtin or the people around gt hurt also.. so i dun wanna sy whom the one that i hope to treasure.. and pls let me feel that u trust me regarding of anythin.. juz hope tt.. cos mutual trust arent the real important stuff between people ma??
<3 12:50 PM
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
well~ on the last sat, the Gang of FIVEE went to Vivo city.. but nt really all of us na.. Shu Fang is unable to make it as she gt to work.. and xhj is late due to her project..
therefore, onli hq, ah di and me reach there around 5pm ba.. cant rbm le.. haha.. then we walk ard.. the place is like really freakin big norx.. but 1 thing tt i really happy to saw abt is i saw tt CANDY EMPIRE!! wakakak.. CANDY EMPIRE is a place tt i can buy one of my favourite sweet, which is the NOUGATS!! wakakakaak.. but $40 per pack.. but tt pack is like very very very big norx.. i think quite worth it lo.. but juz tt i no $$ at tt point of time.. =x
then we walk around Vivo, n was like awhile onli we felt hungry le.. so go around lookin for some affordable restaurant.. but dun really noe wad they hav, so we when to look for directory.. and we aimed Marche.. but wakao!!! we were like walkin and lookin ard for that restaurant for around 30min norx.. and in the end the restaurant is still under renovation lo.. kaoz.. faint~~
then in the end, we hav our dinner at the Bakerzin.. the food is nt bad la.. i like tt "strawberry lavender lime" of the italian soda category.. tt drink is really nice nice nice!! and the color also nt bad.. hehex.. after tt meal, we wait for xhj to come.. so we to take a walk around.. n..................
omg.. sry.. i cant continue le.. cos i was feeling sick nw.. think havin flu le ba.. and running nose.. abit of cough.. haha.. ok la.. i shall rest le.. continue my blog next time.. ^^
<3 1:08 AM
Monday, October 30, 2006
woot! l0ng t1m3 d1nt bl0g l3.. i n03 many ppl miss me alot!! LOLX!
w3ll.. nowadays, i can counted as duno is happy or abit kong xu.. c0s KH come to sg le.. and nw he is currently stayin at my hse... wakakak.. >.< dun xiang yao yao o~! we dint do anythin which is hanky panky one.. cos no onli my parents warned me, my cousinSSS also warned me..
and on that few weeks ago, i really go to msia le.. but guess wad? my er jie gt to call me during tt period of time.. and i duno y she juz hav to get soooo angry and sad, and like announce to the whole world tt i went to msia and blah blah blah blah.. end up her frien use her phone to call me and talked to me abt KH workin stuff AS WELL AS sayin me this and that.. and say wad, "dun be silly silly de hor. lata genna cheated also duno. and u still can go to msia alone."
WAH! duno y, when i heard that, i really feelin like slappin my sis on her face rite on, as well as her frien norx.. kaoz.. i noe im sooo damn rude la.. but did she need to do until like tt?? Wadever she says, i juz try to keep my mouth shut and treat it like a wind juz blow by.. but wad the fuck lo.. even if i do somethin against her wish, so she need to announce it to the world ma?! sickenin.. but xhj say alot of reasons to me b4 i get to noe tt she announce it to the world.. i also tried to understand.. but when her frien says tt i really really dun feel like callin her as my sis le lo.. wad the fuk lo.. did i really hav to do anythin tt MUZ b goin along with wad she want me to?! did i?! and wad she do when she was my age, was even worst than me lo.. nvm.. dun talk abt it le..
then nw neh~! KH living under one roof wif me and my family ^^ but when i think further.. although i might gt a stable relationship le.. but i hav lost my er jie... feel abit kong xu.. cos er jie and me dun wanna talk to each other.. haiz.. but me and him doin gd.. so nw.. i duno la.. heck care currently norx.. i hope one day they will noe tt i wun chose the wrong guy.. i believe him..
<3 9:57 PM
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Ytd me n KH sms each other.. i told him tt i wanna go find him.. then he said, "if can come find me, then gd.. but cant then nvm.."
i asked, "y say tt?? izzt tt u dun wan me to go?? =X"
he said,"do u think tt i dun wan u to come?? i want! but juz tt i cant b so selfish.. "
when he said tt, i was sorta touched.. i was thinkin, actually its nt tt he ask me to go find him.. but i m the one who wanted to see him, who wanted to meet him.. so its like... nt him, but me..
i m the one wanted to see him.. i really wan to.. so i make my decision.. I M GOIN.. but nt tellin anyone except my mum n bro.. n anyone who see tis, can u help me keep the secret too?? ok la.. since i wrote it here, its nt a secret anymore.. but i juz hope tt no one SAID my mum, who u think she let me go.. but in fact, she is quite object abt it.. i m the one who is rebellion enuff to say tt i wanna go.. i was thinkin instead of askin her "may i go??", i will juz tell her tt i m goin.. and dun let anyone in the family noe.. i dun wan anyone to get hurt, juz a case of ME goin to msia..
i noe peopl around me really cares about me.. but juz tt, i hope i can hav a little freedom in my 1st relationship.. i really hope.. in fact, i hav a lot of freedom le.. hehe =X but juz tt freedom to meet him.. n seeing him.. i m juz such a greedy person isn't it?? but i think tt luv is juz so greedy sometime ba..
N thx for ju ju and anoymous for supportin me.. hehe =X although i still duno who is anoymous is.. but thx for ur encouragement.. Xp
my decision is to go find him.. wakakaka..
and if tis time de relationship failed, then i could onli say tt i got to learn nt to luv and believe someone as easily as tis time le.. so juz let me learn if i really see a wrong person.. >.<
to me, every part of my life is a lesson to learn.. as some of the down parts makes us reliease some important points of it.. ^^
and i noe, when i m really down, there will always friends n family out there to give me a place to cry, think n recover.. i noe tt.. cos i believe that i gt true friends, sistas and family will b there for me.. i noe i cant take for granted of it.. i will treasure it.. i will try my best to treasure it as much as possible.. i will.. can u guyz believe me?? >.<
