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    Thursday, November 03, 2005

    Today, i'm havin a really big mood swing.. from upset to frastration.. from frastration to anger.. from anger to sadness.. as well as, things that I need not to know..

    Having knowing, my sister had sort of quarrelling with my parents.. I wanna help my sis to tell my parents about what she had tell me, which is her thoughts on that matter they r quarellin abt.. But i juz could not help anythin.. wanna wake my sis up today, afraidin she late for her work again.. and afraid my parents and her quarrel again.. I believe she would wakes up and went to work.. But in the end, I get to know tt she didnt.. quite upset in the mornin.. Becos quite upset, thinkin of playin online game.. in the end, as i played, someone in the game spoiled my mood again.. Feelin damn frastration and angry.. Next, i get to know my another cousin genna bullied by MJ.. (although dunoe how the idoitic gal bullied her la.. but i juz dun like my family genna bullied) Feel like tearing those people who bullied my cousin and me (before), into pieces and pieces..

    Avoidin my "volcano eruptin" at any time, i played "Bejewel 2", to shift my concentration on things that makes me unhappy.. It did help.. But in the end, one of my friend, havin problems in her family and relaltionship.. she is quite a permisstic gal.. Keep talking things like "nobody will know, even if i die", "nobody cares about me".. Still askin me "wad would happen if a person had take in too much of Panadols and drinks??".. When I saw these words, i had an annoying feelin.. Is like "what for tellin and askin me abt things tt might lead to death??".. Wad for people would wanna die because of matter that does not worth for the percious life?? She still said her life is full of dirts..

    I flared.. i juz couldn't control myself of usin harsh words on her.. Thinking of, why a person would be so foolish of wantin to end her life like that.. Even knowing that there is people out there, because of wantin to survive, they would face matters that they dont like to.. Keep on runnin away from the reality, thinkin of dying, does it really solve problems?? To me, i think its juz makin the people around to b upset about things that had troubled one's.. Dying does not solve any problems..

    Thinkin of surviving and face things tt one's dun like, that reminds me of i'm having Epilisy.. (I'm not afraid of people knowin about it..)Thinkin of having this illness, my moods swings to the lowest.. Although it might not be a big deal for some people out there.. Cos their situation might b more serious than me.. I can still tell u that the feeling of takin in medicine is not good at all..

    No point dyin, if one's have not completely see the beauty of this world.. U might think tt, no money how to see this world.. ya.. But at least u can feel it ba.. Havin a walk along the seaside, feelin wind blowin in the middle of the night.. U might b able to see how things had changed, how things can be beautiful and etc.. If u still couldn't agree with me, but at least u can tried to feel it.. Nothing is impossible, until you've tried it.. Believe this..

    <3 9:32 AM