i m supposed to b studyin for engfund de.. but i really no much mood in study tt.. haiz.. n i think i hav hurt KH juz nw.. i m such an idiot...
cos durin the afternoon, was on the way to a place wif my da jie.. she told me alot of things, which sorta is bro-in-law (da jie's hus) told her de.. in a sense is like askin her to pass those words to me.. cos me n him seldom talks much.. juz tt he sees me like always call KH, he quite scare tt i might get hurt or wad.. cos in a sense like, if a gal put in too much feelings, in the end she might b the one tt is hurt.. u might think tt he hav a old fashion thinkin ba.. but he seems like dun wan me get hurt, and cryin like mad ba.. (things heard frm da jie makes me feel tt bro-in-law quite care for me..)
wad my da jie told me is if a guy really loves u, he will call u instead of u callin him.. and nt onli tt, he might b abit heartache if he sees the gal he loved spendin money on him.. and he might b sacrifies many things for the gal he likes.. guyz can b tellin white lies to entertainin gals who likes and callin up him.. and many more..
n heardin these.. my mind start to spinnin ard.. thinkin many things.. mayb unable to meet makes me feel tt it is unstable and insecure.. but he can give me, he gave le.. as in try to accompany me in maple.. as in nw, he is unable to b my side so use maple as a subsitution.. he is tryin to make me happy in many limited ways.. for example, help me chiong to lvl70 when im lvl 69, and help me do the job advance in 1 night(maple)... although the outcome of tis make me quite annoyed, as i ask him to slp early.. in the end he slpt at 12 noon, the very next day.. tt time i really flare up.. but think of him wantin to give me a surprise and make me happy.. i feel him abit like silly boy like tt de... and many more.. cant rbm at once.. but wad he did sometimes really touched me...
n juz nw, i hurt him.. 1st sms is like, he ask me to call for 5mins as he really miss me very much.. when i replied him tis sms, i juz one sentence askin him "then can u call me??"
then he replied tt he wanted to give me a surprise de.. usin his frien's phone to call me.. then he paid his frien the $$ and tellin me callin me the next day.. at tt moment, i was thinkin y he dun use his hp to call straight away?? y wanna use his frien de.. izzt tt he dun wanna his mum to noe or wad ma?? or wad?? i was quite sad at tt moment, as i recalled wad da jie told me in the afternoon.. but still i called him, but he hanged up my phone.. i was like wad the..
then i use sms to reply him tt "nvm ba.. its ok de.. no need to call me le.. u slp early ba.. " then tot tt he might nt reply me le.. but end up he did..
he replied "sry abt tt. i swear i really decided call u tml b4 u ask me call. haiz. u dun trust nvm. call u tml. thkz my dear. dun wan u call is my idea. nw ask u call>.<" (ps o.. his english abit... ahem.. can understand wad he mean ma?? >.<)
but end up i replied him tt "nvm, zhu zhu.. leave me alone for 3days, can?? as i need some time to digest smth (wad da jie told me abt.. but i dint tell him tt is da jie told me de..)"
then in his mind was like he tot tt im askin for a break like tt.. -.- and sayin tt he dun dare to love anymore if he lose me.. =.=''''' which i dun hav that meanin, but i really wanna digest wad da jie told me.. and i think cos of askin him to give me 3days to digest the things is abit like hurtin him.. cos 3days to him is long.. n he say he waits for my sms when i m ready.. in the sms, he is hintin tt he is cryin.. which reminds me of da jie sayin, he might b actin and sort.. but i dun think tt he is actin.. i duno.. start to feel tt he is a fragile person, easily get broken.. makes me feel like takin care of him..
i duno wad i m doin sia.. dun wanna hurt him.. wana think abt our relation is like a stable one ma?? a unstable one ma.. i duno.. start to feel myself so stupid sia.. abit like gosh.. wad the hell im doin.. anyone can give me any advice ma?? advice on, whether lettin the relation goes by natural.. or wad.. i duno.. i scare will like wad da jie is sayin.. i scare he gets hurt.. im afraid of alot of things.. which makes me feel tt im so kuku.. =.= haiz.. anyone pls..... help...... advice....
