from nw on, i annouced tt i will b stop bloggin frm tis blog.. never again.. wad i explain i had explain to my bro.. and i dun plan to explain to everyone.. if u guyz juz think tt onli u guyz hurt, then think as u like.. i dun care much le..
im tired of explainin even though i tried to.. u guyz onli ask me to think of their way, did u guyz ask them to think of my way?? i hav think of their way b4.. but y juz cany u guyz ask them to think of my ways sometimes?? cos they are big?? so the small ones hav to listen and follow their way?? if u think tt they r the onli one hurt.. then u r very wrong.. very very wrong.. suan le..
如果你觉得受伤的只有他们， 那你就错了。。我的眼泪流的不比他们少。。
after readin someone's blog, i felt heartbroken.. cos someone i thought would understand me most de, end up also dint try to put herself in my shoes to think.. did she?? i duno.. did u guyz juz noe, he cried wif me?? how many times?? did u noe?? he feel tt no one likes him.. and cried.. did u guyz noe?? and did u guyz ever cried wif me?? understand me?? i think onli my mum did... things will get better is juz my thought.. wo yi xiang qing yuan de xiang fa.. HILAROUS THOUGHt..
mayb u all might think tt she has no wrong, im the one hav the fault.. then go ahead ba.. i dun wanna explain anythin le.. and i dun wanna try to explain..
nw im heartbreak. and i will still live on by my way.. i dun wanna say sry to any sis.. cos i dun feel tt they hav no wrong.. i admit i might b chong dong, but wad they say juz hurt me too......... do u guyz think of tt??
<3 3:44 PM
Saturday, December 02, 2006
well, SF, i noe wad u mean in ur blog.. but i dun wan to quarrel wif ur R-jie or K-jie de lo.. in the very 1st place, wad u all wana noe?!
K-jie threaten me between "cannot go msia to find him" and "phone bill".. So end up i chose to Go and find him in a low-profile lo.. then she call me during this period, and she sense that i have lied.. In the phone she was like disappointin and BLAH BLAH BLAH! AFTER THAT?! WAD SHE DID?! ANNOUCIN THE WHOLE WORLD TT I WENT TO MSIA ALONE! AND WAD ELSE?! HURT MY MUM! WTH!
and she not onli annoucing lo, is as gd as tellin everybody wif her precious and powerful and pitiful tears lo! WTH?! during that period XHJ also called me and as me abt it.. i admit it frankly.. Y?! Y I WOUL;D ADMIT TO HER FRANKLY?! IT IS BCOS AT LEAST HW SHE ASK ME MAKES ME FEEL THAT SHE REALLY WORRIED ABT ME!! nt like ur K-jie, crying pitifully and saying somethin that is unreasonable, hurtful, angry, "ZHE BEI" de tone wad else?! if u were me, would u?!
and wad XHJ told me was like ur K-jie onli tell that matter to her.. ok! i believe her.. END UP!? NOE WAD?! When KH reaches SG, her best frien MEI LING usin her phone to call me, as if she dun wanna talk to me.. if dun wanna talk to me than dun call me la! wad for askin UR FRIEN TO TALK TO ME?! AND UR FRIEN IS LIKE USIN THE SAME TONE AS GD AS "ZHE BEI" lo! DAMN HER LO! MOREOVER TIS IS MY BIZ LO, MEI LING.. ITS NONE OF URS LO! U HAV NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE IT LO!
i juz wanna go for my love izzt wrong?! i juz wanna hav a simple love izzt wrong?! i juz wan everyone to live in harmony so i go quietly izzt wrong?! M I?! M I?! moreover, im 18 nw lo! ya! in ur eyes , i might b still a kid.. but pls lo! WHEN UR K-JIE AND R-JIE IS AT MY AGE, COMPARE TO WAD THEY DID AND WAD I DID, MINE IS JUZ LIKE PEANUTS LO!
And wad else?!
YA! MY PHONE BILL ONCE OVER $1K! ya! i hav the cheek to say that! AT LEAST I HAV THE CHEEK TO SAY THAT! WAD THEY DID AT MY AGE, THEY DUN HAV THE CHEEK TO TELL EVERYONE ABT IT! ESPECIALLY UR NICE AND PITITFUL K-JIE!
like wad i tell u. HE IS NT BEING CHASE OUT OF R-JIE HSE COS HE DINT EVEN STEP INTO HER HSE!
and SF, i juz wanna repeat myself.. IF u think tt wad they did to me is called as caring and protecting, then i rather dun wan tis kind of care and protect. cos wad they did to me, i feel hurt and heartbroken.. BUT THAT ONLI TOWARDS UR K-JIE.. as for ur R-jie, i duno wad to say, cos she does not do anythin like ur lovely K-jie.. I JUZ WANAN ANNOUCE THAT WAD UR LOVELY K-JIE DID, JUZ MAKE ME HATE HER TO CORE!
cos she not onli annouce tt i went to msia, she also annouce that he is stays at my hse wad ANNOUCE EVERYTHIN TO THE FAMILY, RELATIVES AND FRIENDS OF HER!
and wad she had say to everyone is juz like sharp of knives drawin beautiful scars onto my heart. and wad i did and face it was to keep quiet to everyone. she makes me hate her to core, she makes my life miserable and she wins the battle of makin everyone to stand at her side. IS TT ENUFF?
ya, tt's once the naive me thinks that no matter wad i do, my family will stay wif me esp my sis.. i regard my family in the 1st place.. A very stable bi feng gang.. And i juz wana see and stay wif him for a short period of time and feel him real rite by my side, is so diffcult.. cos i thinks abt their thoughts.. and cos i ask ur K-jie abt can i go find him and she use that to threaten me..
YA! im despo.. im desparate for more love.. family love.. friends love.. and relationship love.. i wan to feel these.. but within these different type of loves and wanna maintain it, and care about wad other thinks makes me tired.. sickenin.. as time goes by, i really cant take it.. im nt prefect.. i cant make everyone happy.. if i m goin to make everyone happy, i m goin to make myself miserable.. im nt noble.. i m nt.. im juz a simple gal who wanted to go for wad i love for nw.. usin my instinct to do wad i really wanna do.. im nt regret.. i juz feel hurt... mayb juz like wad ppl say, "no pain no gain".. if really it is........ i will continue to go for wad i wan.. i will still continue to live on.. i will still continue to accept things and matter that could not b fixed.. or mayb i shld say, im too tired and heartbroken to fix it.. tired of everythin that she did to me.. tired of everythin happen.. tired of seeing my sisters.. tired of have to make everyone happy yet i m the one suffer.. tired of silent gossips.. tired of outcastin.. tired of entertainin people.. tired of explainin.. tired of sayin the whole thing again and again... i m tired.. and i cant handle.. i really cant..
feel like breakin into dust, and fly wif the wind... with him.. with the memories i hav wif the family.. with the memories i had wif the friends.. i wan a break.. need a rest.. im tired of entertaining her rubbish..
those wanna stay by my side, juz stay.. if u dun wan to.. then juz leave.. before u wanna leave, do show me the signal.. at least tis would make me bother u anymore.. and i wun allow myself or u to see each other again.. i need to breath.. really... need to recover wif the scars recovering by time...
